11、Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
12、Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
13、To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
14、God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
15、Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16、My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
17、A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
18、Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, which you really wish they were.
19、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
20、A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
